November 23rd 2016

This is the first time in 8 years I’ve seriously tried to get off drugs. I feel like I’m having a nervous breakdown. Nobody is even noticing. 

 I feel so out of control now that reality is hitting me. Im starting to remember every little thing I’ve tried so hard to forget. I hate this shit. I’ve ruined my life. I’ve ruined my little girls life. I’m an embarrassment to my family. 

I want so bad to get better, to get clean. I keep fucking up. I don’t know why I do. I guess that’s just what I am, all I’ll ever be, is just a fuck up.

I wish I could get clean and help other people get clean too!