Ever since we got back together I’ve had big dreams of getting our own place. I thought that was a dream of his too….

As weeks turned into months. I finally got a job. I admit, I blew my first check but, my second check went straight to a savings account. He still didn’t save a penny. 

One night, everything started becoming clear to me. I realized I was seeing through rose colored glass. 

A couple weeks after we got back together I found out he was cheating. I’m starting to get that same feeling again… 

Life ain’t no fairy tale

Most women love it when they’re getting along with their man, making memories that will last a lifetime.

Notice I said most. Meaning I don’t. I hate the good times we share together. It only makes it that much harder when it’s time for him to go. Sure, I’d like to think that maybe this time he’s here to stay but, let’s face it – life ain’t no fairy tale. Atleast for me it isnt.  

It always seems as if the things I cherish the most always get taken from me unexpectedly without warning. My happiness always seems as if it’s just out of my reach. If by chance I do get to grasp it, it’s only for a short time. Then I’m left crying all alone on my bedroom floor at 3 in the morning with nothing but a memory of what we used to be and a dream of what could’ve been.  

If we never had all those perfect nights, if you wouldn’t have held me so tight….maybe if you didn’t kiss me just right….maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad after you’re gone. 

I wish I could enjoy these little moments for what it is at that moment. Instead I’m reminding myself not to get to comfortable. Telling myself that life ain’t no fairytale.